There are many lessons which I learnt from the mission trip:

* The passions of our homegrown missionary, florence as well as a few Thai pastors ( Known
and Ken )

* There are many people who marry as young as 14 in Northern Thailand, swapping partners
among different marriages is also a common phenomenon. Its common for men to drink day
and night and their women to work very hard to support their families due to most men not
supporting their family in anyway.

* On the other hand, the pastors there are very godly, serving the Lord with all their hearts and
staying away from all vices despite their society being so degrading. All I can say is Praise the
Lord for keeping them close to Him. Thank God that his workers obey him. Thank God that
his workers honour him.

tbc

Tonight I suddenly start to miss my comm ( Jing Jing, Aaron, Leanne n Vivian). I guess part of the reason is because I didnt go out much today.My mind isnt occupied with anything. All my memories in Chiangmai came back to me. From 18th dec flying off in the early morning with Leanne to touching down on 26th dec in Singapore with the whole team. Those days were the most meaningful in my life. Initially I couldnt adapt cos I simply dunno at thing at all, I didnt know the songs, the skit, the dance. I simply know nothing. I went to Chiangmai by faith. Throughout the few days, everyday everyone of us are travelling with faith, there was language barrier, very cold weather. Its just quite a bit to adapt to at once. But its a good experience. I saw the love of Florence for the Shan people. I saw the love of the pastors there. To be frank, I am impressed. In spite of poverty, they love God with all their hearts and they always seek God's leading. I have so much to learn from them. We r so blessed to live in a place where we can have everything we wan though its a bit stressful. I have learnt to treasure everything that I have. Nothing should be taken for granted.

Just want to do a quick recap of the things we did during the trip to chiangmai.

18th dec

- Touched down in Chiangmai after a 3 hr flight.
- Met up with Florence and Ken for the first time. ( Florence is a missionary there, very nice n
delicated to her beloved Shan people. Ken is a training pastor, passionate about God,
musically talented)
- Travelled in Chiangmai in a "Song tiao" to meet up with Aaron and the rest at Mekong Centre
before we went to an art and craft shop to for kids before heading for lunch.
- Travelled up to the village, managed to reach before night falls. But due to a bumpy journey, a
few of us had travel sickness and I ended up with a bad headache. But thank God, we had our
own first aid supplies.
- Had dinner at a church leaders' place. My first contact with traditional Thai food. That was an
experience man. I couldnt really adapt to the food but still ate la.. obviously expecially cos its
the first family meal and its freezing cold out there. Have to eat to keep warm.
- Went Carolling after dinner

tbc

I just got back from chiangmai 2 days ago. The past few days I have been busy hanging out with OCFers thats y there was no entry. Very much this trip to chiangmai is very fruitful, I will explain more later. I came back on 26th Dec, the same day when Samuel arrived in Singapore. We met up for dinner along with Justin, phyllicia, Moses n Paul, had a good time, went to pepper lunch at taka. Its really a joy meeting up with them after so long, felt so comfortable, didnt really do much that day cos it was rainning everywhere but we still hang out till pretty late.

Then yesterday met up with them again at bugis but this time its just alfred, me, Mo n Sam cause not all of us can make it. We were like bumping around bugis market. This time round dunno y all my friends kept suggesting to go bugis market. Its so humid and too many people around but they were selling quite some good stuff so its still quite worthwhile. I m thinking to go back with some gal friends to buy my stuff cos the last few times I went was with guys so only went to see guys stuff.. its like the maid accompanying the prince to shop..haha.. but it was fun though..I realised that when we shop we tend to have quite some comments n we were laughing alot n in the end the salesgals were kind of like staring at us but that didnt bother us..haha...

I miss OCF alot since I came home, miss the fellowship, the blessings...

Hey guess wat! Last night Ian suddenly told me that he is coming to SINGAPORE tmr! Yupz tmr, but yesterday's tmr is today isnt it? It was so funny when Ian told me he is coming last night. First of all so last min, second of all, usual la.. Ian makes demands here n there as we all know.. oh no.. he is going to kill me for all these..

Demand number 1: I want to eat spicy food!
Demand number 2: U and Moses MUST bring me around sg. ( Note the word must!!! Direct quote from our dearest IAN HONG ).

I was up till late last night cos of this dear brother. Alamak man! I was thanking God the whole night.. u know why?

Reason 1: If Ian is coming the next weekend, sorry man I am away he settle himself..
Reason 2: Thank God Moses is back, otherwise Ian tell me so last min, die man.. what m I going to do. If I cannot get Mo, I have to settle myself. So thank God for Moses. Haha.. Good thing we all stay so near otherwise even worse...Ian better thank him also, without him, he is gonna be to be homeless tonight..haha.. not really la.. can still stay my place..
Reason 3: Praise God for Sean, otherwise I cannot get Mossie also.. long story, for more details, ask me personally..hehe
Reason 4: Thank God that Ian can bunk with Mo not me.. sorry Mo, u take him.. brothers mah..haha.. like wat addielle says brotherhood..
Reason 5: Thank God we can all meet up with Eng Poh before he goes back to Penang tonight. Praise the Lord for that!

I am anticipating 3pm today when Ian arrives at Mossie's place, I will be going over later as well. We will have fun!

But I got a msg today from Ian Hong 7.30am before he went to take bus down to Singapore.

Its a typical msg from Ian.

It reads:

Prepare Towel for me.

Didnt bring.

See u there!

Guys post comments if u have any. I had a good laugh last night n this morning.

I need to call Richard before Ian comes. Not to complain ok but because Ian missed him.

Yesterday I had a great day except for some minor hiccups like forgot to take straw when I bought bubble tea, so dumb rite but it happened. So silly of me. Yesterday, I went to buy some packs of macaroni before I headed over to Leanne's place. Very much I spend most of yesterday at her place, trying to fix macaroni jewellery.

There r some steps to it:

1. Paint the macaroni. We have only got 3 colors cos I only bought 3 bottles of water color to cut
cost. So Leanne and I painted the macaroni red, green and blue.

It was quite funny, we were like amusing ourselves for the whole session. Imagine that!

2. Wait for the macaroni to dry.

3. String the macaroni using elastic string.

4. Bracelets, necklaces and anklets are done.

I should have taken pictures for momentos and also to showcase our master pieces. But we were having to much fun and I forgot. I can take the pictures on Sunday before we fly off on Monday. Those jewellery are cool man, I am sure the kids in chiangmai would love them but I guess we probably need to get more colors. That would be more fun and it would give more variety.

We experimented on paper dolls as well. Its really fun, cutting the dolls clothes, hair and stuff and decorating them. It was a session that Leanne n I discovered that we r seriously not cut to be artist or designer, its just so out for us. The designs that we made on the clothes r ok la.. but then as I told her, we wont be buying such clothes if we see them on sale in the malls, so u guys can imagine those latest designers we created..haha..

Opps, forgot to mention! I mistook the hair for the dolls for hats n sorry, I coloured them blue n green. But oh well, as wat Leanne said.. thats the latest trend..ahha.. so sotong of me!

It was fun, its like going back to being a kid doing handy craft.. I guess I can only upload the pics when I come back from Chiangmai. Be patient!!!

In all things that we do, we remember the Lord and everything is for him alone! Praise the Lord! Finally, I got my insurance almost done cos Mary responded to my email last night. Gonna get it done today..

Today is my second day in Singapore after so long. Came home quite late last night cos by the time my plane touched down it was already close to midnight. This time it was pretty much a long flight back cos I took Mas airlines, but the flight was ok la.. just tired.. but Sally, Lydia, Victor n Joel was on the same plane so it was ok. But when the plane touched down at Kuala Lumpur we had to go separate ways. Sally took another flight back to Kuching, Lydia had a flight back to KK, Victor well, he got home the fastest among us, Joel took another plane back to India while for me, I took a connecting flight back to Singapore.

The connecting flight was quite unpleasant but thank God it was only for 55 mins. It was quite stuffy n there were some passengers complaining.. argh.. Dunno for what reason n I had to listen to Malay for like 10 hrs in total.. ah.. dunno what they were saying.. doesnt matter anymore thou..hehe..

Had a chat with Leanne this morning for updates on our mission team. Gonna do handicraft with her n Desiree tmr at her place. But when I went out to purchase the materials today, I was caught in the heavy rain, so terrible, even until now my head still spins though I showered almost immediately after I got home.

I am trying to adapt myself to everything now, lifestyle so different..

Oh! Help me Please!!!

If you’re walking through the valleys

And there are shadows all around

Do not fear, He will guide you

He will keep you safe and sound

He has promised to never leave you

Nor forsake you

Though I may not understand

All the plans You have for me

My life is in Your hand

Through the eyes of faith

I can clearly see

There is mixed feelings within me.. I really dunno if I wan to go home or not.. I will still go home regardless of what I really feel.. I guess one of my main motivation of going home is because I m going chiangmai with leanne.. that really make me want to go home faster.. In another 2 days time, I will be home, I will be touching down Sunny Singapore.. This time, I am taking Malaysian Airlines... couldnt get a flight for Singapore Airlines n Quantas.. But good thing this time, I am flying back with Sally.. that would make my flight more enjoyable n something more acceptable..

I am looking forward to seeing leanne. Havent seen her since Sept. I havent really known her for long but we connect well. I guess the link between us is God and the mission trip we are going for. She has been handling the stuff for me back home.. my travel insurance, my airticket, my backpack, my medical forms, my OMF fees.. Thank You so much.. Seriously I dunno who can do all those for me if not for u.. Nothing can really express my thankfulness.. Really want to meet up with her quickly when I come home..

I am looking forward to seeing Tracy too. I met her during OCF Sydney Annual Retreat at Blue Mountains. She has become a close friend whom I share my stuff with. Gonna see her soon, the coming friday for dinner..

The past day, I have been packing my stuff to get ready to go home but somehow, my heart is unsettled. I thought of different people, from OCF to Uni coursemates, its like a powerpoint slide show. All the flashbacks.. then it dawned on me.. what can I really do for 2 months in Singapore? How should I really spend my time? What does God want me to do for next year? How can I juggle everything? Where actually m I? I am lost, yeah, I am.

For now, praying that God will continue to guide me n guard me in all things I do.
Praying for my mission comm - for God to consistently keep them from all danger and God's protection to cover them through n through.
Praying for God's annointing as I prepare the worship n devotion materials on the coming Monday and Tuesday.
Praying as I prepare my heart to go home.

A while ago, I told Paul that I may not colead with him for Romans Book Study next yr. Just last week, I told him that. I was feeling very down at that time thats y I said that. I know God is calling me ( Refer Nov 19 Blog Entry ) but I feel weak at the same time. I dunno how to handle bs along with all my other committments. Praying that God will guide me in my decisions.

He is the only one that can keep me secured.

This year's christmas is gonna be a special one for me. I will be in Chiangmai doing Christmas Rally, sharing the love of God with little children, something which I have never done before. It will be a unique one.. My heart is just full of anticipation and excitement!

I celebrated christmas once this year with my connect group already at our last cell meeting for the year. We had a huge feast, exchanging of presents. I miss them, especially when I look at the pics, the memories r kept within me..

I went out today. Went to uni to do some stuff, then went T-bar with Tina. I guess today is the last time I will be seeing her here and seriously I dunno when we can actually meet again. Thinking about it is quite sad. She is someone whom I have shared alot with. Someone who opened up her heart to me and someone whom I opened up my heart to as well. We have shared alot together, times when we r down, times when we r happy. Last week we went to send Samuel and Addielle off. Its amazing that none of us cried. The only reason is we controlled, at least I did. For Addielle, I will be seeing her soon. It isnt that bad. She promised to meet up in Singapore when I come back from Chiangmai. For Samuel, he will still be back next yr. But still life without them is different. Been talking to addielle online since she went home.

Most of the OCFers are still in Melbourne though convention is over. I miss them, nothing to deny about. I was just looking at the photos that samuel recently posted on his blog. I was drawn to the pics taken at the airport before addielle n samuel went off as well as pics taken at our christmas party this yr. Our final connect meeting.. The happy n sad times, I do cherish.. For some people my concern for them is hidden in my heart n secured in my prayers to God. Though I write so much on my blog, there are still some hidden stuff in my heart.. I guess everyone has their own secrets.

My heart is heavy, heavy about going home, going home means that I m not under OCF's cover. What will become of me? Who can support me? Will my relationship with God be as strong as ever? Clinging tightly to God.. Because thats the only way I can live my life in glory of him forever.. He is the reason that I live!

I was reading all my previous emails just now. Usually I get alot of emails everyday from various people for various reasons. There are some emails I dun reply at all, not because they r not important but because I was only browsing through them due to the limited time I have. I was looking at all the emails from everyone just now especially those sent by my committee ( those from leanne, jing and Aaron ). I miss them. Most of them are in Chiangmai now. Praying for their safety n God's guidance and protection to be with them, for them to seek the Lord in every step they take.

I came across this song among my many emails.

Chorus

He who began a good work in you
He who began a good work in you
Will be faithful to complete it
He’ll be faithful to complete it
He who started the work
Will be faithful to complete it in you

Verse

If the struggle you’re facing
Is slowly replacing your hope
With despair
Or the process is long
And you’re losing your song
In the night
You can be sure that the Lord
Has His hand on you
Safe and secure
He will never abandon you
You are His treasure
And He finds His pleasure in you

Its a song with meaningful words. A song which will lift u up in times of despair.

Pray with me as I prepare for the worship sessions.
Pray with me as I prepare for the devotions.
Pray with me as I trust God.
Pray with me as I continue to seek Him above all things.

A few days ago, I was talking to Sean online, told him that I will be looking for a church to settle in when I come back to Singapore. He invited me to his church, Church of Singapore. I m considering it. All my friends' churches r so far back home. Distance isnt what I am considering, but I need a place where I can be rooted when I can grow spiritually for the next 2 months before I return to adelaide.

There are a few churches on my mind. Not really sure where I will be going for service yet. Praying about it still. This trip home will be fruitful. Plans are being lined ahead already. Starting with going for new creation bible study next thursday. I am excited about it.. it will be a place where I can learn, a place where I can grow.

I am excited about going home, I am excited about preparing for devotions n worship songs for the trip to chiangmai, I am excited about studying Romans, I am excited about everything including studying next year. I am excited about christmas..

I can say now that I have fully recovered. I feel happy again. Actually to be exact I am happy again since yesterday. I m happy to be able to see my family again, to be able to go for bs, to be able to be myself, to be able to learn n grow.

For everything I thank God, I know everything happens for a purpose. My future is held in the hands of God.

Its a new day. I just spoke with Leanne just now, someone dear to me from home, someone I met in Sydney, someone I can relate to and someone whom I know cares for me.

What she said brightened up my day. She is joinning mission team slightly later and she asked me if I want to fly with her to Chiangmai next week. My heart is so excited again. I feel alive again. Yes, its the feeling of revival in the spirit.

I could see the door opening now.. I could see it again..

Flight not confirmed yet.. to be confirmed soon..

I want to be left alone for this week. No sms, no emails please. I am already starting to feel better and I dun wish to go back to the depression state where I was the past week so please, leave me alone. I will be ok.

I dun want to be blunt but I have been getting too many calls, smses n emails the past week and I have been agitated and I m on a rollercoaster. What I need now is peace and comfort from God. Too much of everything brings hurt to some extend and it complicates my mind as well.

I appreciate all who have shown concern, all who have spent time accompanying me. I will be fine. I need time to loosen up myself n get back to a normal life.

There is only 1 person I want to keep with me during this time and he is God and God alone. I can only hear from Him when things around me quieten down only then can I hear him whisper to me.

Let me hear his whisper.. let me hear him speak..