The settings of gals' fellowship at Karen, Mel n Jan's place...



Cheryl..



Joanne, Suling N Myra...



Grace N Me!



Sarah N Me!



The Little Greedy Pig

Deborah spoke about dots and stars the other day..

Dots represent our imperfections..
Stars represent what we r good at..

Dots vs Stars...

I have a friend who gives me dots all the time..
When I do well.. there r no stars..
But once I make a mistake, I get a handfull of dots..

Those dots u gave me r almost right all the time..
n I do make improvements from them..
But after that u will tell me that there r more dots here n there that I need to change..
N still no stars..

The Lord brought u to correct me in my ways..
N I recognise that because u have always been able to point out what is unseen to others..

But the Lord brought other people to give me stars..

Someday, if I get a star from you,
I will be very happy..
Because its rare..
So rare..
I never got a star from you before..

Its not the approval I wan..
Its the appreciation I need..

For you to see me as how the Lord sees me..

For those who have been praying for me, thank you so much. I have almost fully recovered now. God spoke to me today when I stepped into CRC. It was him who gave me the courage to face my problems head on. It was Him who gave me all the comfort and solace I so badly needed. It was Him who lifted me out of the pit once again. It was Him who forgave me of all my mistakes.

How many times have I broken your heart? Still you forgive...
How many times have you heard me pray? Draw near to me...

Everything I need is you from beginning till forever…

My Princess….

I Will Set You Free

I, your King, stand outside the door of your heart and knock. I see you locked up in your private place of pain, but I won’t force my way in. I will continue to wait patiently outside until you are ready to let me come in. I long to hold you in my arms, wipe away your tears, and tenderly encourage you with My love and truth. I will continue to knock even when you turn a deaf ear. I won’t stop calling to you from outside the door of your prison of pain. You do not have to answer, but I won’t give up because I love you. I know your heart’s cry is for the wholeness and healing that only I can bring. It’s not too late, my princess. Today you can unlock the door in the darkened room of your heart and let Me come in. Like warm light and a gentle breeze, I will refresh and nourish your soul.

Love,
Your King and Your Key to Freedom

Revelations 3:20
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

Now I dun really have the time to blog but I still wan to blog. For those who do not know, I had recurring dreams from Friday till Sunday last week. I couldn’t sleep properly most of these 3 nights. I was spiritually attacked by Satan. The few nights satan planted negative thoughts in my head when I was asleep n I woke up in cold sweat most of the nights. I would suddenly open my eyes as early as 430am in the morning n I couldn’t think at all. For a moment I froze. I had several self doubts. I was depressed. I was afraid. I couldn’t focus when I was awake. I was paranoid over many things. The only thing I could focus on the last few days was when I was preparing for bible study and my devotion times and when I was praying. Those several hours were the best hours the past few days. That was when I shut myself out of this world n I listen only for the voice of God. Those hrs were the best. My heart longs for more time with God.

I confided in a few sisters about the matter and I know they prayed for me. Ivy and Mel came last night. I am so glad they came because I wanted to tell them what happened. Thank you for coming to pass me bible study material for this Friday as well as to pray with me. I really appreciate it.

I have never really had horrifying dreams that paralyse me before. Perhaps except one. There was once in 2nd semester last year. One of the mornings when I woke up, I could feel the devil sitting on me in my own room. Initially, I was so scared. I hide under my blanket. Can u imagine me hiding under my blanket? I was afraid to see satan face to face. But that was only for 5 mins then after that I thought to myself. Pris, why are u hiding? U should get up and pray. So I did. I got up n prayed in the name of Jesus n I cast the demon out of my room. I did it. I wasn’t overpowered by satan. I was empowered by God. I remembered him. I was shaken initially but that was only 5 mins. I knew I had to do something. I cannot remain in bed. I had to put up a fight with the devil. I had to claim God’s promises.

For those who are concerned, I felt very much better last night after much prayer n quiet time with God. I regained my confidence. I got everything intact again. I wouldn’t say I am perfectly ok now. But in comparison to the last few days, I am definitely stronger than before. I believe that spiritual attacks come when God is about to do something great in my life. It’s a huge threat to the devil. It’s the time of testing. Pris, r u ready for the challenge?

Next time if I am attacked by the devil again. I will stand up, put my feet to the ground and scold the devil. Yes, I will do that.

Thanks Ivy for ur prayers just now. My heart is warm with ur love.
Thanks Mel for cleansing my room in the name of Christ.
Thanks Yoshi. I love u.
Indeed its restored. Indeed it is cleansed in the blood of Jesus.

Where would I be without the cross?
Where would I be without your blood shed for me?

It finally coming to the end of this week soon n I have completed all my assignments for the week, just left with some reading materials to read.. then it will be all done.. Currently I am reading " The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer. Its a good book, will blog abt it when I am done reading..

I had a good week.. not too bad.. just had my physio prac today.. I had a cool group, all aussies except me, but they are all friendly n intelligent so discussion went along smoothly.. Thank God for that! Initially I was worried that I will get a crappy group cos if I really do then I will really be in big trouble cos the project is worth 30%... so I m glad it all turned out fine.. My physio tutor was excellent too, she gives very clear explainations which was pretty easy to follow. At least not another tute which was like sitting in a pressure cooker.. argh, I cant take that..

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Yesterday's dinner was one of my best meals in adelaide. We went to this Vietnamese restaurant near Port Adelaide. It was pretty far but was alright cos we drove. It was Sean's birthday, so a group of us went out for dinner.. the food was so so so nice man... The appetiser was a seafood salad, gosh it was the best I have eaten. Then followed by Quail, and cold roll... I enjoyed cold roll the most cos it was interactive n fun.. then finally was our chocolate cheesecake.. Its one of the most satisfying dinners..

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I miss fifi, nunu n yiyi... miss u guys loads.. when I saw u guys on tuesday, I felt more than happiness.. really..

yiyi, see u on sunday.. want to catch up with u soon.. hugz..

I had my first tute yesterday, my biomed tute.. It was the most stressful tute I have ever been to.. it feels like sitting on a hotpot and steaming in a pressure cooker.. N I am serious... so stressful.. as usual we had tutes in pbl style.. for those who dunno.. pbl stands for problem based learning.. just some fancy word thats being used at uni.. but anyway.. let me tell u what on earth happened..

Start of the tute.. obviously the tutor took our attendance.. but this tutor was very interesting cos each of my tutes are accessed on a weekly basis so therefore he needs to grade us each week.. so if I dun find anything constructive to say obviously he is going to mark me down.. so the tutor drew on a blank piece of paper our seating arrangement blah blah blah...

Then the tute started... then this is how he went... So who want to start the discussion? ....... silence for 2 mins.. ..... then he started asking questions.. whenever anyone gave any answer.. he would ask .. erm.. so why is it this n not that? so the whole session was basically why this why that.. u answer this .. u explain that? Thank God I know what to say when he arrowed the question at me.. Gosh! I was relieved at the end of the session...

After that I had a chat with my seniors.. n she went.. oh he is famous for being difficult but his tutes r good.. this I agreed as well..

I have another tute on thursday and friday as well.. its cracking me up.. was trying to fix it yesterday.. my physio tute.. but seriously.. there are only figures and diagrams in my lecture notes.. n my text isnt that good either... I got to fix those case studies somehow... anyway I am not the only one in a fix..

Can u believe that I am listening to audio lectures at home though I went to uni for those lectures? Goodness me.. since when I become so hardworking..

I must fix them tonight..MUST!

The whole week flew past so quick.. I was at Henley beach with OCFers yesterday.. it wasnt very sunny.. in fact it was windy n cooling at max temperature of 28 degrees but then some of us were sunburnt still... but it was fun though.. my sunburnt skin is gonna take a while to heal..... But I suppose it will be fine.. we had team games with water balloons and so on.. captain's ball... it was nice teamwork n at the same time we had loads of fun n gotten to know quite a lot of newcomers which was great! Lunch was pizza by the cooling sea.. one of the few times where we could actually relax and enjoy the sea breeze.. we also buried mossie in the sand.. which was a combined but interesting effort.. hehe... we took pictures.. waiting for samuel to get them uploaded.. imagine urself being buried in the sand.. been fed pizza n cordial actually isnt too bad right.. hehe... Anyway beach day was the highlight of the week.... Ooo.. I almost forgot I met baby Jian Kai for the first time yesterday at Aunty Merrilyn's place.. Eelaine n Raymond's baby boy.. he is sooo cute... tanned little boy.. slightly thin but he will put on weight soon.. We had meeting at Aunty Merrilyn's place as well though all of us are really super tired.. n Aunty Merrilyn had a packed schedule.. it was a good session.. alot of teaching materials n guidance. A well compacted session which is worth every minute of our time.. anyway yesterday was a fantastic day.. i got to go soon.. got to prepare for church till then...

Its the middle of week 1 now.. the heat is up again.. unfortunately.. but nevermind.. the stress is always there..

The week has been short so far cos the pracs n tutes only start next week but then there is quite some readings to do already n tutes to prepare for.. but its ok still.. just need to manage my time wisely..

I realised my attention span has become quite short lately.. i dunno y.. or was it the same as before.. I could only have full concentration for 30 mins then after that need to have a short break to do other stuff before coming back to it again.. At the rate I am going.. when can I finish my work man???

I need to prepare for friday's bs.. till then.. I hope the newbies come back...

I have been back in adelaide for almost a week now.. Landed in adelaide on tuesday, welcomed into super duper sunny adelaide.. oh well.. it has been freaking hot for the first few days then after that the temperature became more bearable.. currently hovering from 30 degrees to 35 degrees.. Its Hot! Its dry! Not all of u will understand what I m saying.. but nevermind.. But there is a phrase from Grace which I really like.. That is.." We steam in singapore n we bake here" .. Its so hot that we can fry an egg on our head.. hey .. no kidding!

I have settled very much everything now.. tmr uni is starting again.. its a brand new year.. a brand new semester.. a brand new start.. Gotta pray pray pray that everything goes well...

This semester is gonna be busy again.. its time to get everything running again.. from my uni work to my homecooked meals.. to laundry.. ocf.. church.. friends.. and everything else..

I have been helping at ocf booth since I came back.. great to know so many new friends and to be able to bring them into the knowledge of God..

The welcome night on friday was a huge success.. great turn out..
Its the first time I literally see crowds of people waiting for ocfers to pick them up from coles to head for ocf.. I was a little overwhelmed but very happy still.. Glad to see Nesta, David and Rachel serving as well.. everyone is doing their part for God..

Today we had our first meeting over at Ivy's place.. First time I prayed with Danny.. Its my honour n joy to be able to work with such a humble n knowledgeable leader this year.. Really looking forward to learning n moulding each other with the word of God...

Just want to share a verse which Danny shared with me today..

It speaks of Paul's Labor for the church...

Colossians 1:28

We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.

I havent blogged in a while.. Not because I dun have anything to say or no updates for anyone.. but rather.. life has gotten too interesting.. what has the new year installed for me?

I am not sure.. what I can say is I have got to stay focused.. on God and on my studies.. N also my promise to God which I will discipline myself to fulfill that.. If u wan to know what God has asked of me, u can ask me.. very very few people know... I wan to share but only to the interested people..

Last year, I was full of ups n downs.. when I was up, I was really very happy.. but when I was down, I was down in the slumps.. I can just shut everyone out n only let God in.. But I praise God for those periods of dryness because through those times, God has made me tougher than before.. more reliant to him than before.. but more importantly.. though I shut humans out.. I still opened my heart to God..

Thats the greatest thanksgiving point back to God..

All in all, I can say that I have gained alot last yr.. relationships.. love.. friends.. trust.. maturity..
Thank God those periods of unhappiness were swiftly removed by u... U removed the pain n retained the joy...

Today its the first day of Chinese New Year...

Just want to do a brief summary of what I have done the past 2 months then I will be back to adelaide to begin my new semester..

Dec:

- was a month when I was struck down n then lifted up to a greater height by God. It was a
month where I was stretched by God n my faith was tested n moulded.. Its u who made
everything beautiful and bearable..
- Ian's singapore trip for 3 days.. n how we waited at Moses' house for him..haha.. funny..can u
believe that we thought he was lost.. haha.. long story..
- was in chiangmai for 8 days.. the most memorable part of my life last year..
- Samuel's trip to Singapore.. of course I enjoyed that too though he touched down the same day
as me after my chiangmai trip..
- Met up with Richard n Slyvy
- Time spent with Tracy n Xuanhua.. caught up alot.. the chats really made me happy..
- Church sessions were very meaningful to me too.. I will miss that.. but I miss my Edge church..
I miss my connect grp.. miss deb..

Jan

- Spent time with family..
- Read alot of books ( Relationships, health.. Bible )
- Spent moments of quietness with God especially at night..
- Received a few tests from God.. I almost failed the last one.. but in the end I didnt cos God
kept me close to him.. Praise God for his mercy..
- Yoshi's trip to Singapore.. the time spent with aDDielle, Paul, Moses, Kazu.. Been to so many
places with them.. now everywhere has memories of them.. love u all..
- Sally n her sister's stopover in singapore.. though short but I was very happy cos so long never
see Sally..
- IDP talks.. successful.. Knowing some people for the first time n rendering help to them brings
me a lot of joy..
- Visits to Church of Singapore and St John's Chapel..
- First time visit to Fillipino service.. its so cool man..hehe.. seeing people gathering together n
Praising God.. n especially the young ones who have the opportunity to serve God..

Feb:

- Busy buying stuff cos going back soon..
- went for seminars n short trips..
- Bought my billigual bible.. my most precious..hehe
- Aaron's stopover in Singapore..
- CNY

Top 5 places I have been hitting the last 2 months:

1. BUGIS
2. ESPLANADE
3. ORCHARD
4. CCK
5. VIVOCITY

Dun ask y.. those who knows will understand...hehe...

I need to start packing.. pack.. pack.. pack.. flying of tmr evening...

Been in Singapore for too long.. I wan to go back to my sunny adelaide...

Till then...

The answer I received from God isnt No..

God is right about me. Now, that shouldnt be my focus.

I wan to build up my relationship with God. I know he can bring me to greater heights.

Over the years especially the last 2 yrs. I love n trust him with my life, with everything I have.

From a few days ago, I realised that God was saying that I have placed him second in my heart. Someone else took his position or rather there are 2 people in the first position.

I know what he wants. I know his desire.

I have restored God's position in my life. There is noone who can hold my love, noone except God.

He allowed me to meditate on this song.. the words was his message to me..

Lord, I give u my heart, all the days of my life, have ur way in me..

There are alot of updates.. But I have a problem finding the starting point..

Done too much over the last 2 weeks..

I need to find a point of rest first..

Time really flies..

In 2 weeks time, I will be back in adelaide..

I want to treasure my time at home even more..

I have been wanting to update my blog for many days now.. but I never did get down to anything..

3 days ago, I felt sick.. it started with sore throat on Tuesday.. then Tuesday night came the block nose.. I had problems breathing the whole night.. didnt sleep much.. Wednesday.. I was down with flu n sore throat.. like I told my close friends.. I am Fisherman's best friend.. I finished a total of 3 packets in 3 days.. I think I have never eaten that many in my entire life..
But frankly, I m not getting any better.. havent felt that sick in many years..

Now all other symptoms r coming.. Coping with recurring headache, fever, coughing badly too.. nose still blocked though I took medicine.. so stuffed up.. Its unpleasant.. especially after so many days n getting worse by the day.. its not funny anymore..

I just need some rest now..

Will update again when I get better..

Pray for me ok?

5 mins ago, I was reading an email sent by my OCF centre. My heart is stirred by the stories I have read. In my life, I have not just read or heard stories about missionaries and their work but I have witness with my own eyes of the hand of God blessing their work.

My trip to chiangmai I will never forget. The sacrificial love of our very own missionary, the vision bestowed to her by God, her passionate heart, her humble personality. Every little attribute of her is worth to be my example.

I know that will not be my only mission trip.. I know there will be more to come.. Its the beginning.. Every mission trip is a step of faith..

I believe when God has impressed something in ur heart. Its not something that u urself can remove, nor circumstances can hinder. I have been there and experienced that.. Its in his perfect plan nicely crafted out for u.. His beloved Child...

I am priviledged to call him my Abba Father..

I am priviledged to know that a chinese national, previously studying in Tasmania is now serving as a trainee leader in one of the HC fellowships. The discipleship/foundation he received in Australia definately contributed to his walk with God here in BJ.

I am blessed to know the work going on in Tibeten Christians.

I am blessed to know leaders are being trained all over the world.

Friends, I just marvel at the HAND OF GOD in ALL our lives. You dont know where and how the God of Wonders is going to use the work of our hands in OCF and the ripple effect.Just an encouragement to all of you that your labours are not in vain. Gods plans and purposeswill be seen.

My favourite pianist and singer Jim Brickman...

I first felt in love with his songs when I was 17. On one of the days, after college, I came across his songs when I passed by one of the music shops. His voice n his music really captured my attention.. until today those songs are still my favourite..

Check this out..

the love i found in you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGKNCsBwkgY&mode=related&search=

Valentine by Jim Brickman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPOt25HfwUw

beautiful-Jim Brickman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4iIA19n5Ok

Piano Recital Jim Brickman Lake Erie Rainfall

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRTXg_7p3Hk

jim brickman piano freedom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXDOKSIEEoU&mode=related&search=

Rocket to the Moon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy2w1SJpCc4&mode=related&search=

My wish this valentine is to obtain his latest album..

Album Title: Jim Brickman Valentine released 8th Jan 2007

Jim Brickman's special, limited-edition CD VALENTINE available only at Borders.

Tracklist:

1) Valentine (Instrumental Version – Never Before Released)

2) To Hear You Say You Love Me – featuring Jake Simpson (previously only available @ iTunes)

3) Escape – (title track from the CD: ESCAPE)

4) Sundown – (unreleased instrumental from the ESCAPE studio sessions)

5) Reflection - (unreleased instrumental from the ESCAPE studio sessions)

6) You – (featuring Tara Mclean – never before released in the U.S.)

7) Open - (unreleased track from the ESCAPE studio sessions)

8) Brazilian Sunset - (new instrumental from the ESCAPE studio sessions)

9) Sacred Moments – (new instrumental)

10) Love of My Life – (original song demo – featuring Tom Douglas Vocal)

Click on this link to listen to his songs for free.. Latest Album!!!

http://www.brickmanmedia.com/jim/borders/

My friend just asked me if I was interested to watch "Multiple Personalities Disorder Hossan Leong's New Psycho Stand-Up Comedy!"

I am interested of course! I have always liked stage plays, musicals n orchestra performances just that its hard to find a friend who appreciates such stuff but my interest still remains.

One of my JC gal friends once commented that it will take ages to find a person who appreciates such art..

A preview of whats coming up...

Synopsis

Hossan Leong is the uncivil servant in charge of the newest Ministry department, set up to lure foreign talent to our fair shores. Going for glamour, he tries his best to convince International Personalities to come set up home in Singapore!When his time runs out and he has nothing to show for, he turns Absolutely Schizo! Hossan starts to morph into some of the entertainment scene's most popular icons!One moment he's a down and out Barry Moneylow auditioning for the National Day Parade. Next, he's Whitney Whoseturn lamenting her marriage woes as she waits in line at immigration. Blink, and he's Kenny Rogered Chicken, waxing lyrical about country music and Hainanese chicken. Poof! It's Hossan as Prints! The artist formerly known as a symbol, trying out a new career in graphics for Singapore¿s many campaigns!Hossan Leong, the funniest "split" personality in Singapore, takes stand-up comedy to riotous new heights. It's New! ... and definitely INSANE! Hossan Leong is the uncivil servant in charge of the newest Ministry department, set up to lure foreign talent to our fair shores. Going for glamour, he tries his best to convince International Personalities to come set up home in Singapore!
When his time runs out and he has nothing to show for, he turns Absolutely Schizo! Hossan starts to morph into some of the entertainment scene's most popular icons!
One moment he's a down and out Barry Moneylow auditioning for the National Day Parade. Next, he's Whitney Whoseturn lamenting her marriage woes as she waits in line at immigration. Blink, and he's Kenny Rogered Chicken, waxing lyrical about country music and Hainanese chicken. Poof! It's Hossan as Prints! The artist formerly known as a symbol, trying out a new career in graphics for Singapore¿s many campaigns!
Hossan Leong, the funniest "split" personality in Singapore, takes stand-up comedy to riotous new heights. It's New! ... and definitely INSANE!

Another cool stuff coming up, is the performance of Singaporean acapella group BUDAK PANTAI (which means 'beach boys' in malay). They perform ONCE a month at YMCA rooftop. Not only could they sing, they have good rapport with audience and are very entertaining.

Anyone interested, please let me know.

7.30pm
at BlueMoo Cafe (roof top of YMCA)
on Friday, 9 Feb!

Good music, never-tasted-before food (literally) and good company!

Let me know early, seats must be reserved.

I am quite tired today. Been reading and talking to some friends this afternoon. Today suddenly one of my friends from Sydney asked me to go East Coast next week. I haven’t been there for a long long time. I actually like the beach but its rather inconvenient to go but this time my friend asked me to go. I also wan to catch up with him, haven’t seen him for a few months now. Gonna go n makan roti john then go East coast…

I went for dinner with an old friend today. We had Jap food.. I think I ate too much.. my stomach is bursting..

One of our friends is getting married.. this friend is much older than us. Not surprising that he is getting married.. just that he only know his bride for 3 mths n they r already rushing into marriage..

--

Dunno why.. I feel like visiting Sentosa these days but none of my friends seem to want to go..

--

Today I realised that my decision in 2004 is right. It has proven to be right.. I once thought I made a wrong decision. It was tough at the beginning, difficult to move on.. but now not only I have moved on, I have been happier since then..

There is no need to speculate what the decision was about or related to who... just know that its a good decision.. thats good enough..hehe..

I was up till late last night doing my own stuff.. talking to a few friends..

Last night at about 1.45am, I read an email. An email from a good brother, a good friend, my coleader. He is going home. I read his testimonial and truely I witness God's hand upon his life and I am happy for him to be able to journey on, to begin a new chapter of his life. I was sad when I read the email. Nothing to deny about.

I remember G telling me more than one and a half yrs ago to take things by my stride, to accept that people come n go. Though I dun see G often but she taught me some things which always remains in my heart. She taught me wat it takes to be a leader 2 yrs ago. She taught me how to be humble and to learn from others. Her words rang in my mind last night again. I remembered every word.. I remembered her expression when she told me those words of wisdom.

I went to God for comfort last night. In the early hours of the morning, I seek my God and his strength. Being in adelaide for 2 yrs, I saw my friends come n go. Those dear to me, I do keep in contact.

I saw how they exalt God. I saw how they serve God..

God spoke to me through this verse last night.

Phillippians 1:20

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."

"My determined purpose is to be my utmost for his highest -- my best for his glory." To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point. Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only -- my utmost for His highest.

Extracted From:
My Utmost For His Highest
Oswald Chambers

I like this devotion book. It has always set me thinking. Thank You!

Its 8th January 2007..

I havent been updating my blog with my own stuff except for some quizes n my heritage.. Those r some of the stuff I found on my friends' n cousins' blogs.. found them amusing so tried them..hehe..

Since coming back from Chiangmai, I have been meeting people almost everyday.

To date I have met up with some of my secondary school friends n poly friends.. didnt really want to meet up with any of my college friends..

Actually some of my friends changed alot.. especially friends from secondary school.. Maybe this a materialistic world, a world where people look at how u dress.. a world where people look at brands.. makeup n everything.. Its superficial.. There are always some people whom I dun wan to meet.. we just dun click anymore.. frequency is just too different.. Also I hate to be fake.. I have always believed in spending within my means and to be presentable and accountable..

I dun wan to find myself hanging out in pubs.. drinking.. smoking.. these habits disgust me..

I was out with Grace on friday. We went to a "New York", a new restaurant along City Link. I had a good time catching up. Can u imagine us having dessert for lunch? Ice cream for lunch? Initially we wanted to have main meals but the menu was so Aussie that it didnt appeal to us. So in the end we decided for dessert.. That day, I managed to get new sandals as well as a new dress for a cool price..

Saturday, I met up with Winnie, Lingmoi and Yingxue at Jurong point. Havent been catching up with them for several years.. Its great spending time with them.. knowing how they are getting on.. Too bad huijun was working that day.. otherwise she can join us too.. There were quite some updates on our mutual friends..

Sunday, after church, I went to vivocity again. The last time I was there I was only there for a short while.. didnt even managed to browse through any of the shops.. Cos I was rushing off to pack stuff to go over to Leanne's place.. I was there early yesterday, went to Pacific coffee to use internet.. cos something was wrong with the plugs at home.. but thank God, just had the electrician over just now.. so now everything is fine.. otherwise cannot even blog.. haha.. I like that cafe there.. cos they have both the indoor n outdoor cafe.. which is cool cos the outdoor cafe is facing the sea.. imagine that.. u can see the sea view while drinking coffee or chatting.. isnt that amazing? When Yoshi comes to visit .. must bring her there.. nice nice cosy cosy place.. I was at the cafe for quite a while thinking through some stuff n drinking my hazelnut latte.. It was so so sweet.. but not bad still.. but not suitable for my not so sweet sweet-tooth..

Met up with Xuanhua, one of my good friends during my poly days.. She didnt change much, we click as well as before.. In fact, I think better than before.. The topics we chatted about were deeper than before.. I had fun seriously.. I am glad seeing her happy.. We had lunch at Sushi Tei. Its a nice restaurant facing sentosa.. they even had a balcony where u can take pictures.. something different.. The service was good.. n we order quite a lot cos the serves were small.. It has been a while since I had such good jap food.. After lunch, we went shopping around.. didnt buy much stuff.. in fact I only bought biscuits n candies.. Every year I have this habit of getting shortcake n almond cookies from Marks N Spencer... My family loves them..
I ran into a friend from Adelaide.. But he was so shocked to see me.. think shy or sth.. haha.. make me look like a fool.. Maybe I shouldnt have said hello or something.. ah.. nvm..

Last week was fruitful..
Apart from going out, meeting friends, I read a couple of books, caught up with news n shows..

I am beginning to enjoy this holidays

Oh ya, I got myself a new journal too.. I like journalling in my private time. I like myself to be organised..

The reason why I keep a blog is to be able to record what I have been doing, to record what has been happening in my life..To keep all these memories with me whether they are happy or sad.. to keep in contact with my friends all over the world.. from UK to Aus to most asian countries like Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, HK and everywhere else...

But more importantly to know that God has been faithful all along.. I believe all things r in the hands of God.. whether good or bad..

This yr there is so much ahead of me to achieve.. I want to look far..
I want to remember that in all things I do.. its only for the glory of God.. May it be studying, taking care of myself or serving..

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queenPeacemaker, first to end a fightGood at thinking up creative datesTend to fall in love and get hurt easilyGoing with your gut instead of your headEmphathetic and caring, sometimes to a faultGood at recognizing patterns in relationshipsBeen in love many times, perhaps too many to countWildly passionate and intense when falling in loveSpontaneous with relationships, going with the flowOverly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mindRoses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love?

You Are 31% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men.You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

Do You Scare Off Men?

You Are Pistachio Ice Cream

Funky. Surprising. Wild.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

You Go For Brains!

You want a guy with a big... brain.And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you're not counting on it.What's on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)

Do You Go For Brains or Body?

You are a City Girl!
Whether you live in the city or not, you've got the heart of a city girl.You're up on the latest trends - what's hot in music, food, and fashion.And you love to be on the go. Your perfect day is filled with tons of fun.Your perfect guy is a city guy, so head to LA, NYC, Sydney, or London to find him!

***You Are An Intro-Extrovert!***
Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shyYou've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going onYou enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need varity!Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.
Are You An Extrovert or Introvert?http://ynr.blogthings.com/areyouanextrovertorintrovertquiz/

It a New Year again..
I hope I will not repeat any mistakes of the past, neither will I remember any unhappiness but to look ahead, to strive forward to attain the goal which I have set for myself. The past year is rough but there is no turning back now. Neither is it important anymore, those past hurts are over, with God ahead of me, I strive forward, towards him and all his plans for me. I want to keep trusting n loving him.

Last night, someone sent me an sms, I dunno who is it from but I know the sms is from Malaysia.

It reads:

2006 has finally come to an end! Will u greet the coming year with a happy heart and let us forget all the unhappy things that happened in this year! Happy New Year and my prayer for u is that u'll live a happy life in the coming year! May this year be a life changing one for u! God bless and continue to protect u!

I am sure its from a close friend cos of the content of the message but the person is still unknown.

But anyway thanks for all the well wishes. May the Lord lead n guide everyone this year!

This is a long overdue post. Initially I wanted to update everyone about the my chiangmai trip but procrastinate until now.. sorry about that..

Just some major highlights of the trip:

- We taught in primary schools for some of the days.
- Went around carolling in villages almost everyday
- Gave sermons.. not me but Jing but we wrote the sermon n edited it together.. ok my chinese
is bad..
- Performed songs n mimes in different villages and churches
- Baby sitting children over handy craft
- Great fellowship n sharing of testimonies especially over campfire on the last night
- Attended a funeral
- Aaron lost his passport but praise God it was recovered.
- A lot of interesting things happened.. especially inside jokes.. gosh they were funny man.. haha

Its a great trip.. One of the best times of my life in 2006..

There are many lessons which I learnt from the mission trip:

* The passions of our homegrown missionary, florence as well as a few Thai pastors ( Known
and Ken )

* There are many people who marry as young as 14 in Northern Thailand, swapping partners
among different marriages is also a common phenomenon. Its common for men to drink day
and night and their women to work very hard to support their families due to most men not
supporting their family in anyway.

* On the other hand, the pastors there are very godly, serving the Lord with all their hearts and
staying away from all vices despite their society being so degrading. All I can say is Praise the
Lord for keeping them close to Him. Thank God that his workers obey him. Thank God that
his workers honour him.

tbc

Tonight I suddenly start to miss my comm ( Jing Jing, Aaron, Leanne n Vivian). I guess part of the reason is because I didnt go out much today.My mind isnt occupied with anything. All my memories in Chiangmai came back to me. From 18th dec flying off in the early morning with Leanne to touching down on 26th dec in Singapore with the whole team. Those days were the most meaningful in my life. Initially I couldnt adapt cos I simply dunno at thing at all, I didnt know the songs, the skit, the dance. I simply know nothing. I went to Chiangmai by faith. Throughout the few days, everyday everyone of us are travelling with faith, there was language barrier, very cold weather. Its just quite a bit to adapt to at once. But its a good experience. I saw the love of Florence for the Shan people. I saw the love of the pastors there. To be frank, I am impressed. In spite of poverty, they love God with all their hearts and they always seek God's leading. I have so much to learn from them. We r so blessed to live in a place where we can have everything we wan though its a bit stressful. I have learnt to treasure everything that I have. Nothing should be taken for granted.

Just want to do a quick recap of the things we did during the trip to chiangmai.

18th dec

- Touched down in Chiangmai after a 3 hr flight.
- Met up with Florence and Ken for the first time. ( Florence is a missionary there, very nice n
delicated to her beloved Shan people. Ken is a training pastor, passionate about God,
musically talented)
- Travelled in Chiangmai in a "Song tiao" to meet up with Aaron and the rest at Mekong Centre
before we went to an art and craft shop to for kids before heading for lunch.
- Travelled up to the village, managed to reach before night falls. But due to a bumpy journey, a
few of us had travel sickness and I ended up with a bad headache. But thank God, we had our
own first aid supplies.
- Had dinner at a church leaders' place. My first contact with traditional Thai food. That was an
experience man. I couldnt really adapt to the food but still ate la.. obviously expecially cos its
the first family meal and its freezing cold out there. Have to eat to keep warm.
- Went Carolling after dinner

tbc

I just got back from chiangmai 2 days ago. The past few days I have been busy hanging out with OCFers thats y there was no entry. Very much this trip to chiangmai is very fruitful, I will explain more later. I came back on 26th Dec, the same day when Samuel arrived in Singapore. We met up for dinner along with Justin, phyllicia, Moses n Paul, had a good time, went to pepper lunch at taka. Its really a joy meeting up with them after so long, felt so comfortable, didnt really do much that day cos it was rainning everywhere but we still hang out till pretty late.

Then yesterday met up with them again at bugis but this time its just alfred, me, Mo n Sam cause not all of us can make it. We were like bumping around bugis market. This time round dunno y all my friends kept suggesting to go bugis market. Its so humid and too many people around but they were selling quite some good stuff so its still quite worthwhile. I m thinking to go back with some gal friends to buy my stuff cos the last few times I went was with guys so only went to see guys stuff.. its like the maid accompanying the prince to shop..haha.. but it was fun though..I realised that when we shop we tend to have quite some comments n we were laughing alot n in the end the salesgals were kind of like staring at us but that didnt bother us..haha...

I miss OCF alot since I came home, miss the fellowship, the blessings...

Hey guess wat! Last night Ian suddenly told me that he is coming to SINGAPORE tmr! Yupz tmr, but yesterday's tmr is today isnt it? It was so funny when Ian told me he is coming last night. First of all so last min, second of all, usual la.. Ian makes demands here n there as we all know.. oh no.. he is going to kill me for all these..

Demand number 1: I want to eat spicy food!
Demand number 2: U and Moses MUST bring me around sg. ( Note the word must!!! Direct quote from our dearest IAN HONG ).

I was up till late last night cos of this dear brother. Alamak man! I was thanking God the whole night.. u know why?

Reason 1: If Ian is coming the next weekend, sorry man I am away he settle himself..
Reason 2: Thank God Moses is back, otherwise Ian tell me so last min, die man.. what m I going to do. If I cannot get Mo, I have to settle myself. So thank God for Moses. Haha.. Good thing we all stay so near otherwise even worse...Ian better thank him also, without him, he is gonna be to be homeless tonight..haha.. not really la.. can still stay my place..
Reason 3: Praise God for Sean, otherwise I cannot get Mossie also.. long story, for more details, ask me personally..hehe
Reason 4: Thank God that Ian can bunk with Mo not me.. sorry Mo, u take him.. brothers mah..haha.. like wat addielle says brotherhood..
Reason 5: Thank God we can all meet up with Eng Poh before he goes back to Penang tonight. Praise the Lord for that!

I am anticipating 3pm today when Ian arrives at Mossie's place, I will be going over later as well. We will have fun!

But I got a msg today from Ian Hong 7.30am before he went to take bus down to Singapore.

Its a typical msg from Ian.

It reads:

Prepare Towel for me.

Didnt bring.

See u there!

Guys post comments if u have any. I had a good laugh last night n this morning.

I need to call Richard before Ian comes. Not to complain ok but because Ian missed him.

Yesterday I had a great day except for some minor hiccups like forgot to take straw when I bought bubble tea, so dumb rite but it happened. So silly of me. Yesterday, I went to buy some packs of macaroni before I headed over to Leanne's place. Very much I spend most of yesterday at her place, trying to fix macaroni jewellery.

There r some steps to it:

1. Paint the macaroni. We have only got 3 colors cos I only bought 3 bottles of water color to cut
cost. So Leanne and I painted the macaroni red, green and blue.

It was quite funny, we were like amusing ourselves for the whole session. Imagine that!

2. Wait for the macaroni to dry.

3. String the macaroni using elastic string.

4. Bracelets, necklaces and anklets are done.

I should have taken pictures for momentos and also to showcase our master pieces. But we were having to much fun and I forgot. I can take the pictures on Sunday before we fly off on Monday. Those jewellery are cool man, I am sure the kids in chiangmai would love them but I guess we probably need to get more colors. That would be more fun and it would give more variety.

We experimented on paper dolls as well. Its really fun, cutting the dolls clothes, hair and stuff and decorating them. It was a session that Leanne n I discovered that we r seriously not cut to be artist or designer, its just so out for us. The designs that we made on the clothes r ok la.. but then as I told her, we wont be buying such clothes if we see them on sale in the malls, so u guys can imagine those latest designers we created..haha..

Opps, forgot to mention! I mistook the hair for the dolls for hats n sorry, I coloured them blue n green. But oh well, as wat Leanne said.. thats the latest trend..ahha.. so sotong of me!

It was fun, its like going back to being a kid doing handy craft.. I guess I can only upload the pics when I come back from Chiangmai. Be patient!!!

In all things that we do, we remember the Lord and everything is for him alone! Praise the Lord! Finally, I got my insurance almost done cos Mary responded to my email last night. Gonna get it done today..

Today is my second day in Singapore after so long. Came home quite late last night cos by the time my plane touched down it was already close to midnight. This time it was pretty much a long flight back cos I took Mas airlines, but the flight was ok la.. just tired.. but Sally, Lydia, Victor n Joel was on the same plane so it was ok. But when the plane touched down at Kuala Lumpur we had to go separate ways. Sally took another flight back to Kuching, Lydia had a flight back to KK, Victor well, he got home the fastest among us, Joel took another plane back to India while for me, I took a connecting flight back to Singapore.

The connecting flight was quite unpleasant but thank God it was only for 55 mins. It was quite stuffy n there were some passengers complaining.. argh.. Dunno for what reason n I had to listen to Malay for like 10 hrs in total.. ah.. dunno what they were saying.. doesnt matter anymore thou..hehe..

Had a chat with Leanne this morning for updates on our mission team. Gonna do handicraft with her n Desiree tmr at her place. But when I went out to purchase the materials today, I was caught in the heavy rain, so terrible, even until now my head still spins though I showered almost immediately after I got home.

I am trying to adapt myself to everything now, lifestyle so different..

Oh! Help me Please!!!

If you’re walking through the valleys

And there are shadows all around

Do not fear, He will guide you

He will keep you safe and sound

He has promised to never leave you

Nor forsake you

Though I may not understand

All the plans You have for me

My life is in Your hand

Through the eyes of faith

I can clearly see

There is mixed feelings within me.. I really dunno if I wan to go home or not.. I will still go home regardless of what I really feel.. I guess one of my main motivation of going home is because I m going chiangmai with leanne.. that really make me want to go home faster.. In another 2 days time, I will be home, I will be touching down Sunny Singapore.. This time, I am taking Malaysian Airlines... couldnt get a flight for Singapore Airlines n Quantas.. But good thing this time, I am flying back with Sally.. that would make my flight more enjoyable n something more acceptable..

I am looking forward to seeing leanne. Havent seen her since Sept. I havent really known her for long but we connect well. I guess the link between us is God and the mission trip we are going for. She has been handling the stuff for me back home.. my travel insurance, my airticket, my backpack, my medical forms, my OMF fees.. Thank You so much.. Seriously I dunno who can do all those for me if not for u.. Nothing can really express my thankfulness.. Really want to meet up with her quickly when I come home..

I am looking forward to seeing Tracy too. I met her during OCF Sydney Annual Retreat at Blue Mountains. She has become a close friend whom I share my stuff with. Gonna see her soon, the coming friday for dinner..

The past day, I have been packing my stuff to get ready to go home but somehow, my heart is unsettled. I thought of different people, from OCF to Uni coursemates, its like a powerpoint slide show. All the flashbacks.. then it dawned on me.. what can I really do for 2 months in Singapore? How should I really spend my time? What does God want me to do for next year? How can I juggle everything? Where actually m I? I am lost, yeah, I am.

For now, praying that God will continue to guide me n guard me in all things I do.
Praying for my mission comm - for God to consistently keep them from all danger and God's protection to cover them through n through.
Praying for God's annointing as I prepare the worship n devotion materials on the coming Monday and Tuesday.
Praying as I prepare my heart to go home.

A while ago, I told Paul that I may not colead with him for Romans Book Study next yr. Just last week, I told him that. I was feeling very down at that time thats y I said that. I know God is calling me ( Refer Nov 19 Blog Entry ) but I feel weak at the same time. I dunno how to handle bs along with all my other committments. Praying that God will guide me in my decisions.

He is the only one that can keep me secured.

This year's christmas is gonna be a special one for me. I will be in Chiangmai doing Christmas Rally, sharing the love of God with little children, something which I have never done before. It will be a unique one.. My heart is just full of anticipation and excitement!

I celebrated christmas once this year with my connect group already at our last cell meeting for the year. We had a huge feast, exchanging of presents. I miss them, especially when I look at the pics, the memories r kept within me..

I went out today. Went to uni to do some stuff, then went T-bar with Tina. I guess today is the last time I will be seeing her here and seriously I dunno when we can actually meet again. Thinking about it is quite sad. She is someone whom I have shared alot with. Someone who opened up her heart to me and someone whom I opened up my heart to as well. We have shared alot together, times when we r down, times when we r happy. Last week we went to send Samuel and Addielle off. Its amazing that none of us cried. The only reason is we controlled, at least I did. For Addielle, I will be seeing her soon. It isnt that bad. She promised to meet up in Singapore when I come back from Chiangmai. For Samuel, he will still be back next yr. But still life without them is different. Been talking to addielle online since she went home.

Most of the OCFers are still in Melbourne though convention is over. I miss them, nothing to deny about. I was just looking at the photos that samuel recently posted on his blog. I was drawn to the pics taken at the airport before addielle n samuel went off as well as pics taken at our christmas party this yr. Our final connect meeting.. The happy n sad times, I do cherish.. For some people my concern for them is hidden in my heart n secured in my prayers to God. Though I write so much on my blog, there are still some hidden stuff in my heart.. I guess everyone has their own secrets.

My heart is heavy, heavy about going home, going home means that I m not under OCF's cover. What will become of me? Who can support me? Will my relationship with God be as strong as ever? Clinging tightly to God.. Because thats the only way I can live my life in glory of him forever.. He is the reason that I live!

I was reading all my previous emails just now. Usually I get alot of emails everyday from various people for various reasons. There are some emails I dun reply at all, not because they r not important but because I was only browsing through them due to the limited time I have. I was looking at all the emails from everyone just now especially those sent by my committee ( those from leanne, jing and Aaron ). I miss them. Most of them are in Chiangmai now. Praying for their safety n God's guidance and protection to be with them, for them to seek the Lord in every step they take.

I came across this song among my many emails.

Chorus

He who began a good work in you
He who began a good work in you
Will be faithful to complete it
He’ll be faithful to complete it
He who started the work
Will be faithful to complete it in you

Verse

If the struggle you’re facing
Is slowly replacing your hope
With despair
Or the process is long
And you’re losing your song
In the night
You can be sure that the Lord
Has His hand on you
Safe and secure
He will never abandon you
You are His treasure
And He finds His pleasure in you

Its a song with meaningful words. A song which will lift u up in times of despair.

Pray with me as I prepare for the worship sessions.
Pray with me as I prepare for the devotions.
Pray with me as I trust God.
Pray with me as I continue to seek Him above all things.

A few days ago, I was talking to Sean online, told him that I will be looking for a church to settle in when I come back to Singapore. He invited me to his church, Church of Singapore. I m considering it. All my friends' churches r so far back home. Distance isnt what I am considering, but I need a place where I can be rooted when I can grow spiritually for the next 2 months before I return to adelaide.

There are a few churches on my mind. Not really sure where I will be going for service yet. Praying about it still. This trip home will be fruitful. Plans are being lined ahead already. Starting with going for new creation bible study next thursday. I am excited about it.. it will be a place where I can learn, a place where I can grow.

I am excited about going home, I am excited about preparing for devotions n worship songs for the trip to chiangmai, I am excited about studying Romans, I am excited about everything including studying next year. I am excited about christmas..

I can say now that I have fully recovered. I feel happy again. Actually to be exact I am happy again since yesterday. I m happy to be able to see my family again, to be able to go for bs, to be able to be myself, to be able to learn n grow.

For everything I thank God, I know everything happens for a purpose. My future is held in the hands of God.

Its a new day. I just spoke with Leanne just now, someone dear to me from home, someone I met in Sydney, someone I can relate to and someone whom I know cares for me.

What she said brightened up my day. She is joinning mission team slightly later and she asked me if I want to fly with her to Chiangmai next week. My heart is so excited again. I feel alive again. Yes, its the feeling of revival in the spirit.

I could see the door opening now.. I could see it again..

Flight not confirmed yet.. to be confirmed soon..

I want to be left alone for this week. No sms, no emails please. I am already starting to feel better and I dun wish to go back to the depression state where I was the past week so please, leave me alone. I will be ok.

I dun want to be blunt but I have been getting too many calls, smses n emails the past week and I have been agitated and I m on a rollercoaster. What I need now is peace and comfort from God. Too much of everything brings hurt to some extend and it complicates my mind as well.

I appreciate all who have shown concern, all who have spent time accompanying me. I will be fine. I need time to loosen up myself n get back to a normal life.

There is only 1 person I want to keep with me during this time and he is God and God alone. I can only hear from Him when things around me quieten down only then can I hear him whisper to me.

Let me hear his whisper.. let me hear him speak..

Today, I found myself with God once again. This week is the second week after my exams. This week I must confess that I didnt pray much. I admit I am slack. Noone can pass any judgement on me because we have been there n done that. No matter how senior u r in leading bible study or even leading a church. We have been there still. I was a backslider a few years back before I came to adelaide. I remember the sermon that Uncle Vincent preached last sunday at AACC. He preached about a man who was once a backslider but still God could turn the situation around and use him mighty to influence others. There are some of us brothers n sisters whom have backslided before but now we have changed because God changed us. These few days, God has been calling me by name n urging me to seek his face. But I did not come back to him until this morning, I came home to him. I went back to my Daddy. I went back not because he is urging me. I went back willingly. I went back because I need him to live each day. I need him to survive. But more importantly, its because I love Him n he is God. For some of u, u make not understand. Its not something that can be explained. I went back. I am secure again.

I confessed to Janice how I really felt today. I am guilty for turning my back against God though it was for just a few days. I am guilty. Yes, I am but not anymore because I went back to Him. I know he will forgive me n cleanse me once again. Just now Li Chang send me a link to the sermon which he was listening to. I listened to it n God used it to speak to me.

He spoke about prayer is like breathing. When u pray, u r breathing the air of heaven. When we pray, we are adding oil to our lamp. He asked me to come back to Him. He promised that I can find him if I seek Him with all my heart. All these I read in my bible many times before but sometimes they still slip my mind. But in that instant, he strengthened it all. He magnified it all. Indeed, he is my God. He could perceive my thoughts. I can never hide from him.

God is using everyone around me. He is. In ways that seem simple but its also easy for us to stray away. But God always has a way out for us. For most of today, I spent listening to the song "we are the reason", mediating on the words n allowing it to sink in me n letting God speak to me. I wan to listen to him. I REFUSE to rebel against Him. I am turning my face towards him again. He has allowed me to turn my face towards him again. Again, I can say I love u.. Again I can say I obey u.. Again I can say I seek u.. Again I can say, Father lead me n guide me.. Daddy u r there.. loving me.. cherishing me..

Today I am so happy.. I am so refreshed by God.. Noone can give me what he can give me. Noone..yes, noone.

Continuously annoint me with ur oil, continuously fill my lamp as I continuously seek u, Father.

There is sth that I want to blog about.. something that God spoke to me about.. But now I find it hard to put into words..hmm.. let me organise my thoughts then I will be back..Be patient..

I am listening to the song my committee back in Sydney have chosen for our team.. A month ago, they emailed the mp3 of this song to me. But all I did was read their mail but I did not listen to the song. I am guilty, yes, I was. There is no excuse I should give myself. No excuse is acceptable.

We have chosen the song entitled : We are the reason by Kaffe Matthews

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live

I like this song, not just because the music is nice but because the lyrics is meaningful to me. The first time I heard this song, I am touched by the lyrics. I know its a song not chosen by a human but by God. I can see his hand moving among us. This song ministered to me, to my needs, God used this song to meet me where I am, Indeed he is there.

We are indeed precious in God eyes and it reminds us of how Christ had to endure the cross for our sins. He is the reason we live and let us continue to live it for Him.

The following passage is shared by Aaron, my dearest team leader for our coming mission trip.

(John 15:1-17)
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.
2Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
3Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.
4Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
5I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
6If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.
7If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
8By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.
9As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.
10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love.
11These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
12"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
13Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.
14You are my friends if you do what I command you.
15No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
17These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

I want to abide in you Father, YES, I will..

I didnt do anything much yesterday. I was resting most of the time. Half the time I was thinking about various people, about the change they had throughout the year whether is it negative change or positive change. Its unwise for me to think that much n that far. But still I went that direction. The other half of the time I was either reading or watching drama.

I need some space for myself. I really feel like going home this time. I miss home. My flight home will be on 2nd dec. I just spoke with Ziren yesterday. In another week, I will be home. I can see her soon.

This trip home, I got to find a new church because I will not go back to my previous church. Reasons which I will not cite here. This trip home, I yearn to have discipleship. I already approached someone about it and I am hoping for a favourable reply. The summer break, I really need some proper rest in order to be ready for the challenges for next year. There is so much I want to do at home. So much so much...

My results r not out yet. Its really too slow this time. Waiting.. Waiting..

The last 2 days were fulfilling days.. 2 days of joy, peace n laughter.. Yesterday I met up with Laza for lunch, I havent been talking to him for a while cos we hardly meet, being in 2 different OCF centres. There was much catching up at Primo cafe. In that 2 hrs, I was greatly encouraged n lifted by his sharing. I am glad to have a brother who is supportive of me in his prayer. I am blessed to know someone who is keen on missions, someone whose heart is for the lost, who is obedient and submissive to God. I shared what was on my mind with him..

Met up with keith for coffee as well. I always desire quality time with my friends. Quality time as in time spent talking abt deep stuff.. not the usual daily life..

Went west terrace after that to cook with Mo n Karen. Its fun cooking with them. There was much laughter but the highlight of yesterday was our christmas party at night over at Deb's place. There were loads of great food prepared by great chefs..Haha.. There was exchange of gifts as well. I got to bug Samuel for the pictures man.. He has got them all..

Came home so late last night.. almost couldnt wake up this morning.. Thank God I wasnt late for breakfast, otherwise yoshi will be waiting too long man..hehe.. had breakie with yoshi at cibo today before prayer meet... finally had the sendimental infusion tea that I always wanted to try.. taste quite good..

I feel so tired now.. been up and about almost 2 whole days.. got to get some rest..

The Five Love Languages

Your primary love language is probably Quality Time

with a secondary love language being Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time: 10

Acts of Service: 7

Physical Touch: 5

Receiving Gifts: 4

Words of Affirmation: 4

Today so many things happened.. Where should I start?

I woke up early today.. about 6.20am. I slept over at Samantha's place last night. Had a long long chat with her on many topics. Exchanged thoughts.. after not meeting or talking for more than a month..there is much to catch up.. I enjoyed the time.. chat till 2am then we went to bed..

I was at yoshi's place this morning.. was with addielle and yoshi.. we were deep frying the fish fingers n nuggets.. but we were chatting most of the time.. sharing our thoughts.. I laid my thoughts n struggles before them just as I laid them bare before God.. I laid them bare before my sisters....I made no effort to hide.. no effort at all.. I love the both of them.. alot alot.. they know I do and God knows..

I shared with them the struggles of the past week.. how God wanted me to retreat from everything so that I could commune with him.. How I desire him and how much I needed him n the rest he could give me that noone else can give.. God spoke to me everyday in the past week in times when I least expect him.. he whispered something in my ears.. he wanted my whole heart not part of my heart..

2 days ago was friday, I spoke with Aaron, Paul, Ivy n Mo regarding bs leading next yr. I said that I do not want to lead bs next yr.. I said all sorts of things which now I find very self centred. I saw their anxiety in some of their faces but I didnt care.. in my mind, I wanted to do discipleship next yr.. I wan to concentrate on building myself up.. I want to go onto a higher level with God.. I needed a year off to rest so that I can proceed at greater extends n greater measures with God.. My heart desires to do more for him.. I wanted to consider bsf next year.. I wanted to consider the mission trip which siew wai is planning.. so much stuff I wan to accomplish but at my own pace. I need enough rest. God doesnt want me to strain myself or tire myself out from ministry.. My final reply to them was I will only lead if I get clear instructions from God.. otherwise I will take a year of rest from ministry.. N I mean every word I say..

Even up till 8.30am, when I was talking to addielle n yoshi.. I was still emphasising on what I said on friday.. My mind was still set on not leading bs..n I still had several demands on my group, my coleader or leader and the study we r doing.. I was just so demanding.. until I cannot stand myself also..haha.. but God has his way around me and indeed his ways r higher than mine.

I went to AACC with yoshi this morning.. I was immersed in the worship n even now the sermon n how God spoke through the sermon is still in my heart, my mind n my soul. I am still saturated with his word..

That sermon by Uncle Vincent fired up my spirit once again. God used him mighty to speak to me. I was touched to the point that I broke down in the end.

This is what God said to me at 10.30am:

Pris, this is my will in ur life to lead bible study next yr. I will prepare u in the next 3 months. I will give u more rest than u need. Seek me always, I will be sufficient for u. Trust me and come to me.

His words r still ringing in my mind. I know its a confirmation from God after being praying n thinking abt it the past week. I knew this thought is not from me.

I broke down n cried.. I willingly submitted to his will. I choose not to run away. Its foolish to run from the Almighty God. At that moment, Yoshi, keith and Aaron was with me. Yoshi was visibly touched by God too. Myra saw us.. she came over put her hands on my shoulder n prayed for me..

Just want to do a comparison between Pris at 8.30am n Pris at 10.30am

8.30am

I am unwilling to lead bs.. not only unwilling to be the leader.. not willing to be the coleader as well ( I was determined on taking one year of rest )

10.30am

After God spoke, I was willing to be used by him. I dun mind being the leader, the coleader, the member or even his servant in all aspects. ( As wat Aaron said, thats a 180 degrees change)

8.30am

I was only willing to work with certain leaders cos I have always needed a leader whom I can learn from and I m demanding of my leader, very demanding in fact. I respect all leaders but some leaders I respect more n I always observe them n I have greater expectations.

10.30am

All of a sudden, I am willing to work with any leader, be in any group.

I m amazed by this change, so is Aaron n yoshi.. its a huge change n only God can make that change.. I heed his calling.. I choose to obey him.. I choose to trust him, to love him, to give him control..

Its the best thing I did after the exams.. God is wonderful.. so wonderful.. he deserves it all..

My mind is so peaceful.. indeed it is.. after been so turmoil for so long.. as wat I told lynette the last few days it was a emotional shipwrecked.. I was struggling with the decisions I should make.. But God has made the choice for me.. I delight in him..

I am so motivated to live life to bring glory to him.

My exams are over.. Yes, they r over.. But I am not relieved.. My heart is weary n burdened.. My heart is burning for the mission trip that is coming up in December.. I dun want to stay in Adelaide not in Singapore either.. The trip has been on my mind for so long.. not just since July this year but since many years ago when God first impressed it on my heart.. But now frankly I am worried abt my results. I am worried that it will hinder me.. I am worried that it will change my mind.. I hate this .. I did my best. This year I studied more than I ever did in my entire life.. and I did worse than I ever did in my entire life.. But still this is the happiest year of my life..this is the year where I relied on God more than I ever did before.. this is the year he mould me n refined me again n again.. where I seeked his face again n again.. repeated in the nights I cried only to him.. I longed to see his face.. I longed to be with Him.. I longed for his will to be done in my life..

I praise him for guiding me in all my decisions.
I praise him for bringing me to adelaide.
I praise him for giving me trials and showing me his glory.
I praise him for his everlasting love and sustaining me till now.
I praise him for changing me so much.
I praise his presence in my life.
I praise him for the person he is.
I praise him for all my friends and family.

BUT above all, I praise HIM because he is God. He is in Control.

This link below is the link to the blog for our mission trip in Dec. Do check regularly for more updates.

http://ocfsydneymissions06.blogspot.com/

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The last few days, I have been spending time with leny, kehong, yao chai, jessie, kiki, weijian, and their housemates. I spent the bulk of my time with them.. I just got to know them recently but they had brought joy in my life.. I was supposed to have dinner with them last night.. Kehong n yao chai r cooking last night.. but in the end I didnt go.. I dun feel well.. both spiritually n physically.. I needed much rest.. I wanted to spend time with them but still I couldnt go.. I knew I cannot stretch myself anymore otherwise it would be drainning for me.. Kiki left for home last night too.. I miss her.. really.. thought I dunno her for long but everytime I see her, my heart is so warmed by her.. hopefully I can still see her next year..

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Lydia n I went to Marion on tuesday but dunno y.. both of us didnt really enjoy the trip.. especially me.. I just was not in the mood to shop.. but we did talk alot n I shared with her many things.. I am glad she was with me then.. yes.. I was glad..

We went to samuel's place after shopping. Mel was cooking for Mo, leeping n yoshi. I wanted to help but in the end didnt help much. I was just sinking on the sofa too tired to get up.. I was mostly stoning.. until Aaron came then we talked quite a bit.. so largely.. tuesday was spent with the Wong family ( Lydia and Aaron.. hahaha).

Went with Mel to deliver dinner n fruits for them.. Leeping wasnt home.. hope she isnt too stressed.. Saw Mo n Frank.. Both looked happy n less stressed.. so glad.. then popped by yoshi's place.. she looked tired.. but for all of them now exams r over.. they made it.. God is faithful..

Then after that I went back to Leny's place to cook dinner.. I enjoy cooking dinner for them.. I just feel so at home at her place.. I like their company.. I will definitely miss them when I go home..

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Yesterday wasnt a good day for me.. I woke up feeling torn apart.. Thank God, Mel was on msn.. I just poured out my heart to her.. she has been there for me the last few days... giving me advice and praying for me.. I am very comforted.. God has been speaking to me through her and samuel.. reaffirming wat God has already placed in my heart..

I felt better after that.. went out with samuel n lydia in the afternoon.. shared with samuel much stuff God has for me.. But after that I was distracted .. my thoughts were with God.. I had to leave so that I could be alone.. I recalled many things in that 1 hr I was away.. many many things that God blessed me.. many many things he brought me through.. it was as if God placed them on powerpoint slides.. showing me how he brought me through everything n he is sufficient for me.. I was in tears in the end.. he planted some scriptures in my heart the past week.. planted them deep in my heart n he was consistently reminding me of them.

I came home for a long rest after that..

Hebrews 13:5

"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

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Gonna go back n sleep again soon. Meeting Tina for lunch today.. need her advice on some stuff.. need to discuss.. need to pray.. but in the morning.. I got to go n defer my airticket.. Hope to fly on 30th Nov home instead.

Afternoon will be fun.. meeting at samuel's place with Mey, Mel n lydia.. for christmas party planning for our connect grp.. it will be a great time..

Think I will be home early tmr.. got to tidy up my room.. oh so messy..

This morning just as I was waking up.. God reminded me of this verse. His timing is perfect.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

He made me still before Him.. therefore I will..

I was mediating on Psalm 139 before bed last night n the words truely comforted me n I slept well knowing that God is on the throne. He will not let any harm come to me.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Everything has been planned by God.. N he will guide us through it.. stand firm under all trials and in all ur ways seek n acknowledge Him.

The last few days for me was horrendous.. All I had was God with me.. nothing else.. actually he indeed is sufficient for me.. been alive after these few days is great.. I had my first paper on Monday.. not a fantastic paper.. Sunday night n Monday morning I was encouraged by several sms n calls which I received. I had a peaceful night of sleep after praying n committing everything onto the Lord. I know that a lot of people r praying n more importantly I have the confidence that God is there. today had my second paper which was much better.. in the sense I have more confidence that I can survive.. the last few days I only did a few things.. eat ( only when I am really hungry.. but not much appetite still.. skipped dinner last night though Leny cooked for me.. just totally had no appetite at all..), sleep, study, pray ( prayed so much.. cos I was worried not only for myself but for some people whom I am concerned about n whom I have always kept in my prayers consistently, I being a human seriously I cant help them only God can. I flooded my mind with Psalms.. especially during the times when I was almost breaking down..times when I refuse to turn to anyone except God n God alone). I was anxious.. yes .. I was.. Last night I was actually hoping that someone who would sms me a word of encouragement.. noone did.. but leny was there with me the whole night.. I really appreciate it.. it means just too much to me.. sometimes during the exam nights I would get really stressed n uptight at night.. I would feel scared though I know that I need not be ( thats wat I would call the panic attack).. because my future is determined by God who knows my every step.. I shouldnt panic at all.. not at all.. there is nothing I can do to change the wonderful and perfect future which God had already determined for me though there would be hurdles upfront.. I should n I will march forward.. the eternal reward is at the end.. this morning I had breakfast with jessie.. she had a paper today too so we decided to go off together with another 3 others from the village..so had a cool walk with them to the exam hall.. I wasnt stressed.. just prayed along the way and submit everything to God.. indeed I have tried my best.. if God willing... he will let me through it..

To Mo n Deb, thanks for the sms this morning.. u guys brightened my day ..

Many people flood my mind the last 2 weeks.. I guess u know who u r .. the people I called .. the people I sms or msn.. its u guys..

I cooked fish porridge just now.. n herbal soup with pork n carrot..hehe.. need to have some good food.. starting revision on chemistry soon.. in an hour.. got to rest my brain first..

Psalms 18

1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

I am captured by the words.. by the song.. by u my Lord..

THE POTTER’S HAND


Beautiful Lord, wonderful Savior

I know for sure all of my days are

Held in Your hand

Crafted into Your perfect plan

You gently call me into Your presence

Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear Lord

To live all of my life through Your eyes


I’m captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart

I know You’re drawing me to Yourself

Lead me Lord I pray


Take me, mold me, use me, fill me

I give my life to the Potter’s hand

Call me, guide me

Lead me, walk beside me

I give my life to the Potter’s hand

I may have hurt someone unintentionally today. I saw someone that I didnt expect to see and I wasnt in a condition to see. I am feeling all the stress now and I really didnt want to meet anyone that would add more stress to me. Certain times things happen but we dunno it. I really need to protect myself at this moment from all external things thats affects my spirit. It wasnt easy for me to decide to come to OCF tonight. I m down.. very stressed n there is still loads to be done.. I am afraid ..very afraid in fact.. But still I came .. noone forced me.. its by the spirit of God. I really felt led in tonight's worship. My tears just flowed. God is just so near to me. My spirit is comforted n I feel ready to carry on..

I enjoyed tonight.. from the worship to devotion to praying with keith.. felt the presence of God evident .. Praying by the spirit .. I know u r ever there and ever for me..

For those having exams tmr.. we are praying for u.. for Justin, Ian, Kazu, Handy, Leny and Phyllicia..

Mel, thanks so much.. what u did through the spirit for me is beyond description.. I love the Psalm ( student version ) and all the songs.. Thanks dear..

*HugZ*

Another Note to all : Psalm 34 has always been my favourite Psalm.. Have a look.. meditate on it.. It will do u good..