Nana

I like the times I spent with Nana..
I like his encouraging words, disciplined life..
I like the songs we share..
I like how supportive he is of the things I do..
I like the way he guides me and prays for me..
I like his positive mindset..
I like it that everytime we talk, I learn something new about life and about us..
I like him being non-judgemental of me..
I like the way he cracks the little jokes, makes himself silly but make me happy..
I like the trust within us..
I like his company..
I like his healthy lifestyle..
I like his real personality, no hidden nature..
I like the way he is able to come out with a solution for me when my mind is clouded..
I like the way he points me to God and tells me to trust God..
I like the way he affirms me when I feel uncertain of myself..

The feeling is so much different when I spent time with others..
Increasingly I realised some gatherings r fruitless and I do wan to move on from that. I dun wan any unwholesome and empty time spent anymore..
Its so not my nature..

I rather have more personal time for myself or spend time on a one to one basis..
Time by myself allows God to speak with me n develop my character.. Thats wat I need and wat I wan..

I absolutely detest time wasters!

My Dearest.. I do love you :)

For nana n family..

I m going into a period of intense serious work for this few weeks.
There are things which no matter how much I wan to do.
I just can't do it now.
There are ppl whom I wan to spend time with.
I just can't do it now.
If you truely love me, you will understand this is the decision I have made.

Pray for me whenever you can and commit me to the Lord...
That's what I want..

Jesus take the wheel,
Take it from my hands,
Cos I can't do it on my own,
I'm letting it go,
Give me one more chance,
Save me from this road I'm on.

Dreams..

My dreams will not just remain in my head, they will be put into action..
Letting noone stop me..
Letting noone steal it..

Just wait, I say I will do it..
I will do it with all my heart..

No hinderance..
No half heartedness..

I will fight fight fight to fulfill my dreams..

It will be a tough fight..
But it shall have a good beginning..
And a desirable end..

Let the countdown begin :)

Thanksgiving!

There is so much I can thank God for, so much that such that words are not able to express how my heart feels :)

A tough week has gone by though there will be another 4 tough weeks ahead of me..
There is no fear in my heart because You are always around..
Your love and peace have always saturated my heart and soul..
I can't feel the stress overcoming me anymore..
There are no more fires engulfing me or waves overcoming me..
My cries have always been smoothened by help and love You provided for me..
You have always held my hand whenever I am falling..
You have always reminded me that You love me even before I was born..
You have given me people whom I can trust and confide in..
You have given me family both here in adelaide and singapore..
Your hands are forever stretched out to me..

I will fight for You..
I will fight for the dreams which You have rooted in my heart..
I will bathe myself in Your Word both day and night..
I will do my best in everything and anything in my life because I Love YOU..

I just want to say that You are my God, my darling, my love..
Forever irreplaceable..

I am so glad that though life has been busy for me..
My ears have not become deaf to Your promptings..
My heart and soul has not forgotten You..
You have not stopped calling me..
However insignificant I am, You have made me important and precious in Your sight..

Psalm 9:10

" Those who know Your name will trust in You,
For You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."

The week of horror!

It has been the worse week ever. I am battery low, lacking of rest, sick of being sick and at the same time covered by a huge mountain of work..Sorry that you guys were worried abt me but I know you guys genuinely cared :)

I m trying to take tmr off but pretty much unlikely.. Lets hope tmr's symposium discussion is real short.. Oh well! I should just stop dreaming..

30 more days and I can have my rest.. I so want to fly to Gold Coast now.. Yes! NOW!

Time out!

I have approximately 40 days left to cover so much material.

God, will you make me smarter, more disciplined, work faster, healthier and wiser? Please Please Please :)

Pardon me!

The last few days my temper gets triggered off much more easily than usual..
Maybe its because of my fever and sore throat that is irritating me so much..
Maybe its because of a heavy workload..
Maybe its because of insufficient rest..

I just need sometime for myself..
I need some space..
I explain only to people whom I choose to share..

I prefer no expectations to be placed on me..
Expectations = Disappointment

Let me have my way for 2 months.. Let me get this work done first.. Perhaps things will get better in July..

I need a big warm teddy bear hug! Lotsa homecooked food! Heaps of love and care expressions!

Avian Influenza

I am a step closer to my dream. A step closer to what I want to do in my career. I will make full use of this opportunity. I know I will and God will help me achieve the desires of my heart :)

Going around Jericho

Sometimes the problems which I face in life can look as big as Jericho. The walls may look formidable, defying the prayers and petitions of many. Occasionally in my waking moments, I find myself going around and around my dilemma. It's easy to be so dorminated by the challenge you face that you just keep going -- around and around obsessed with it.

Joshua had company of the whole army going around Jericho. It's good to march with others. There's strength in the fellowship of believers who have the same focus and goals and who lend comfort and encouragement to each other.

I am happy and blessed to have close friends fighting alongside with me, supporting and encouraging me every step of my way. Thank you so much!

The walls will crumble one day, and it will all be over. God will get the glory, and the hard marches in the heat of the day will be forgotten in the sweet taste of victory. Until that great day when our particular Jericho falls. God grant us the perseverance and the endurance believing that however high the walls, fortified that gates and strong the enemy, it's only a matter of time!

Joshua 6

Praise You by Jade Ambroze

Well I know You're gonna save me from this situation
But if not I will praise You anyway
I will lift my hands and raise my voice in adoration
For You are God whatever I may face

And I will thank you for the sunshine that I long for in my life
Then gladly I will praise You as it rains
For You are the God of grace
You are the God of my salvation
And that is one thing that will never change

Your ways are higher, wiser, deeper than my own
You are the promise keeper and You'll not leave me alone
So let me be like Daniel in the lion's den
And let me be like Job and not his friends

Because You loved me before the dawn of time
And always I am Yours and You are mine
So let me be like Stephen praising Your name
And let me be like Abel and not Cain

For though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil
For You are with me
You rod and staff they comfort me still

Well I know You're gonna save me from this situation
But if not I will love You and rejoice
And no matter what the season, trial or tribulation
I will honour You with heart and mind and voice

You are the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and the End
You are my Hope, my Comforter and Friend
So let me be like Peter laying down his life
And let me be like Lot and not his wife

Nothing's gonna take Your love away...

Dishearted..

I just read something that totally make me dishearted. I cannot imagine myself being misunderstood in such a way. If our friendship is so fragile, I honestly duno what I should say or do. The years of effort is so disregarded.. Its just heart breaking..

I am totally disappointed and hurt to some extend.. I am tired, totally tired.. Maybe all the years of effort is simply wasted..I am trying to juggle so many things at any one go.. I am so exhausted and I need God so badly myself.. I seriously cant take anymore emo behaviour.. Its stressing me out when I am already so stressed out over my own work..

I just pray that one day you will understand why I was so strict with you...

There is a chinese saying: you scold only the person you love and care about... I will tell the truth to someone only when I love them..

Bioinformatics!

Lord, You see my silent tears, You see my broken heart and I know You are always there for me..

Lord, let me never crumble under any situation but always trust, always hope and always live for You alone..

No matter what happens, I know You will comfort me.. I just wanna hide under your wings and hear Your soft still voice calling me..

Are we simple or complicated creatures?

Why are we humans so selective about the people whom we wan to get close to?
Why are we humans so comfortable in our own clicks that we sometimes make people feel uncomfortable?

I dun like this feeling. I love my family in adelaide and I wan to share everything I have with them. I long and love to spend quality time with them. They have become an important part of me.

I am such a complicated creature. I self claim to be simple but yet I know I am not. I dun accept anyone into our family easily like I used to. Somehow the doors are just subconsciously shut.

Lord, help me to love those though they are not in the family. Help me love them as You love us. The barrier can only be removed by You, God.

I am waiting, Lord. Waiting only for You, Lord..

Unfailing Love By Chris Tomlin

You have my heart
And I am yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The One I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything (everything)
You hold in Your hand
And still You make time for me
I can't understand (can't understand still)

Praise You, God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God, You remain
The Holy one and my unfailing love
Unfailing love
(I will praise You)

I love this song, awesome lyrics!
Listen to it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_MyC6kJzPg&NR=1

My Melbourne Trip -- Part 2

I was meant to finish blogging about my melbourne trip earlier this week but I never got down to it. Busy la and no inspirations. Not that I have inspirations now anyway.LOL!

I visited the Arts Centre Sunday Market after church on Sunday when I was over that weekend. Its awesome to see aussies actually passionate about art and the stalls were set up every sunday for them to showcase their precious possessions. They have like ceramics, aussie timber work, jewellery, photography and heaps more. It is sort of a tourism spot at St Kilda very close to the beach area so it was sort of very nice to admire those art pieces along with the cool breeze of the sea. The weather was simply beautiful except that it was a little chilly. I bought a nice little silver plated bangle with sky blue coloured crystals and stones at the middle. It was a sweet little thing at a really cheap price.

I like melbourne city, not in a way that I think I can live there but rather I guess I would like to visit again for shopping (The brands I love are all there.. aww), food (They have so many Japanese restaurants there which I love and also Krispy Kremes) and for the beaches. Melbourne city is kind of shopping paradise. I love the direct factory outlet (DFO) near Southern Cross Station. That was a HEAVENLY place for me! I got my red sandals from Country Road for half the retail price and my Espirit skirt at a 70% discount. Awesome bargins that make me want to go back for more! Thank God I didnt buy much stuff after that otherwise I would have trouble trying to force them into my tiny luggage bag to return to adelaide.

During my stay in melbourne, I spent alot of time with God as well. Reading and meditating upon his word. My heart was in adelaide with Ecamp but I was in melbourne having my little holiday in my own dreamland. I adore the lady whom I met through Shirley. This lady, Allison, few years older than me but she has a great relationship with God, passionate about adopted childen, has 2 adopted gals under care. I see a great sense of passion in her, an undying spirit to care and to support lost and helpless gals. Its the kind of passion I wan to be instilled in me but I am still searching for it. I guess its a calling from God. The selflessness I see in her is very admirable. She could speak with me about things that are deep in her heart though I was staying with her for 3 days, such discussion sometimes couldnt even be found among close friends but we found it in each other. She is a young woman whom I can look up to as a sister in Christ and a role model in life. Its these people I meet on my trip that makes the whole trip even more worthwhile.

I kinda miss the trip now..Oh well..

Day-Book

I submitted my daybook today. I can say that I am heaps relieved after that. Imagine myself doing my daybook from day to day, Monday till today was something which was unimaginable. It was day after day of shit pain. Yes, you heard me rite, it was unbearable, horrifying pain to the depths of my bones. I know I didnt do a fantastic job in the end but I already did my best already. Its the effort which was put in that really matters to me. I did almost nothing except work and more work, chocolate and more chocolate, complains and more complains the last few days. Sorry to all those who had to put up with my nonsense and heaps of love and hugs to all who accompanied me and gave me help along the way. You guys rock!

Now that my daybook crap is over. I can sort of rest for the night. I feel lost, honestly lost cos there was like suddenly nothing to do. Yeah, but its only for tonight.

Tmr, I can start choosing the song which I am gonna sing during worship audition on sunday at church. I am excited about it yet feeling tensed and nervous about it. Its my first time going for an audition. We had like no audition when we wanted to do worship leading in OCF so like singing in church is expecting heaps more. The last few days, in the midst of doing daybook, my heart was consistently on doing worship ministry in church. Its my passion, singing to God. Initially, I wanted to turn down the opportunity cos of all my other committment but somehow there was a voice within me was persuading me to make the move and call Deb to register for the audition. I wan to serve God with the voice which he has blessed me with. I just wan to do more for Him alone. I guess its something natural which we all want to do for our loved ones especially when we love them so much. Just wan to use what God has bless me with to bless his church. I wan to do it and I will do it.

Audition, this sunday at church 2pm. I am going to cancel all my prior plans for marion trip, beach trip. Sorry guys, I wan to focus my sunday on his ministry. The chance must not slip!

Psalm 96:8-10

8 Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
bring an offering and come into his courts.

9 Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness;
tremble before him, all the earth.

10 Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns."
The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity.

My experiences of the past 1 week -- (Part 1)

Before my melbourne trip, I actually went n browse through all my previous blog entries. I was searching for the words and messages which God has placed in my heart. For a while in the beginning of the year, I sort of lost my momentum with God, a scenario common to many but few admit its occurance. It was only during the recent combined meet that I found God again and our relationship has been better than before. It is an encounter with God that turned things around for you and me. Reading through the past blog entries not just showed me the path where God has been leading me on but also how people have invested into my life and viceversa.

My melbourne trip, in short I would say its fruitful and its a God-driven trip. A trip and a journey with God that I longed for with all my heart but yet at the back of my mind, I also wished I could go to Ecamp. So many people approached me to ask if I am going to Ecamp. Each time it occurs, there was an instant pain in my heart but I kept quiet about it. I knew God has his purpose for me in melbourne, I knew that it isnt about the shopping or abt the city. There was something more to that and I was waiting in anticipation to find out more.

There were some people whom I met in melbourne who spoke into my life. Sat night I visited Richmond AOG, a huge church with many people passionate about God that really stirred my heart. I met a middle age lady at the new friends dinner. She is a lady who gave me a feeling that she has a deep sense of loneliness n pain in her life. Her eyes were sorrowful and sad, though we just met, she simply shared freely with me. I saw her emptyness n I felt the urge to reach out to her. I am so blessed to be surrounded with OCFERS and friends whom I can share my heart n my thoughts with and here before me was this lady, praying and seeking God to give her a good galfriend. For a moment, I realised how much I have taken wat God had given me for granted. Friends and housemates r not meant to be taken for granted. Each and every person that passes our path is worth the effort to get to know and to reach out.

Lord, I pray that You remove such selfishness and self-centreness in my being and help me to lead the life u desire for me to have..

Psalm 139: 3-5

You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop n rest. Every moment, you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it Lord. You both precede and follow me You place a hand of blessing on my head.

Terrible Friday..

I just submitted my essay..Eww.. It was full of crap.. I sort of didnt understand what I was writing so I read over n over again and again.. Finally it did make some sense I hope.. I hate essays especially I dun enjoy the topic to start with.. Its my second essay this week n its clogging all my active nerve cells.. Zone out for a while to compensate for brain damage..

I m simply exhausted n burnt out.. Strength down to almost zero.. I can forget about going to Jackie's party tonight.. I dun even have strength to move much less to party..

Tmr I will be off to melbourne.. I guess I will come back pretty tired again.. Ooo.. But I will enjoy the trip..

lalallaala..

*I think I shouldnt bring my furry bear along*

Opps! I almost forgot I havent packed my luggage! LOL! So BLUR!

A New Start?

It took me awhile to decide if I should go back to blogging. Pretty much I guess I should, I still do want to keep the moments that were once precious to me documented before they r forgotten or treated as waste by my limited capacity brain.

The documentation part is probably an occupation hazard. Haha! Sometimes I really wonder why would I record such nitty gritty details in my lab-book. I do enjoy when I get some desired results but not as much when I dun. :(

Life pretty much has started to get more interesting. A moment ago, a thought suddenly found itself in me. Time management! Just had the feeling that my time management skill simply sucks! Why m I taking so long to do something though hard the task maybe but still, I could have done it at a shorter time. I guess its a point where I just need to pause my life and look again at the "Time Wasters" but I need to get pass this week first.

Once Friday is over, Sat to Thursday, I will be down in Melbourne while the rest of the peeps would be at Ecamp!

My long awaited Melbourne trip is finally gonna happen! This thought alone motivates me to get all work done asap!!!!

Alright till then..

Note: I would be buying some Krispy Creams back.. BUT its not for everyone.. I will become broke if I do that..Sorry.. Hope u guys understand..

Hugz..