Today, I found myself with God once again. This week is the second week after my exams. This week I must confess that I didnt pray much. I admit I am slack. Noone can pass any judgement on me because we have been there n done that. No matter how senior u r in leading bible study or even leading a church. We have been there still. I was a backslider a few years back before I came to adelaide. I remember the sermon that Uncle Vincent preached last sunday at AACC. He preached about a man who was once a backslider but still God could turn the situation around and use him mighty to influence others. There are some of us brothers n sisters whom have backslided before but now we have changed because God changed us. These few days, God has been calling me by name n urging me to seek his face. But I did not come back to him until this morning, I came home to him. I went back to my Daddy. I went back not because he is urging me. I went back willingly. I went back because I need him to live each day. I need him to survive. But more importantly, its because I love Him n he is God. For some of u, u make not understand. Its not something that can be explained. I went back. I am secure again.

I confessed to Janice how I really felt today. I am guilty for turning my back against God though it was for just a few days. I am guilty. Yes, I am but not anymore because I went back to Him. I know he will forgive me n cleanse me once again. Just now Li Chang send me a link to the sermon which he was listening to. I listened to it n God used it to speak to me.

He spoke about prayer is like breathing. When u pray, u r breathing the air of heaven. When we pray, we are adding oil to our lamp. He asked me to come back to Him. He promised that I can find him if I seek Him with all my heart. All these I read in my bible many times before but sometimes they still slip my mind. But in that instant, he strengthened it all. He magnified it all. Indeed, he is my God. He could perceive my thoughts. I can never hide from him.

God is using everyone around me. He is. In ways that seem simple but its also easy for us to stray away. But God always has a way out for us. For most of today, I spent listening to the song "we are the reason", mediating on the words n allowing it to sink in me n letting God speak to me. I wan to listen to him. I REFUSE to rebel against Him. I am turning my face towards him again. He has allowed me to turn my face towards him again. Again, I can say I love u.. Again I can say I obey u.. Again I can say I seek u.. Again I can say, Father lead me n guide me.. Daddy u r there.. loving me.. cherishing me..

Today I am so happy.. I am so refreshed by God.. Noone can give me what he can give me. Noone..yes, noone.

Continuously annoint me with ur oil, continuously fill my lamp as I continuously seek u, Father.