There is mixed feelings within me.. I really dunno if I wan to go home or not.. I will still go home regardless of what I really feel.. I guess one of my main motivation of going home is because I m going chiangmai with leanne.. that really make me want to go home faster.. In another 2 days time, I will be home, I will be touching down Sunny Singapore.. This time, I am taking Malaysian Airlines... couldnt get a flight for Singapore Airlines n Quantas.. But good thing this time, I am flying back with Sally.. that would make my flight more enjoyable n something more acceptable..

I am looking forward to seeing leanne. Havent seen her since Sept. I havent really known her for long but we connect well. I guess the link between us is God and the mission trip we are going for. She has been handling the stuff for me back home.. my travel insurance, my airticket, my backpack, my medical forms, my OMF fees.. Thank You so much.. Seriously I dunno who can do all those for me if not for u.. Nothing can really express my thankfulness.. Really want to meet up with her quickly when I come home..

I am looking forward to seeing Tracy too. I met her during OCF Sydney Annual Retreat at Blue Mountains. She has become a close friend whom I share my stuff with. Gonna see her soon, the coming friday for dinner..

The past day, I have been packing my stuff to get ready to go home but somehow, my heart is unsettled. I thought of different people, from OCF to Uni coursemates, its like a powerpoint slide show. All the flashbacks.. then it dawned on me.. what can I really do for 2 months in Singapore? How should I really spend my time? What does God want me to do for next year? How can I juggle everything? Where actually m I? I am lost, yeah, I am.

For now, praying that God will continue to guide me n guard me in all things I do.
Praying for my mission comm - for God to consistently keep them from all danger and God's protection to cover them through n through.
Praying for God's annointing as I prepare the worship n devotion materials on the coming Monday and Tuesday.
Praying as I prepare my heart to go home.

A while ago, I told Paul that I may not colead with him for Romans Book Study next yr. Just last week, I told him that. I was feeling very down at that time thats y I said that. I know God is calling me ( Refer Nov 19 Blog Entry ) but I feel weak at the same time. I dunno how to handle bs along with all my other committments. Praying that God will guide me in my decisions.

He is the only one that can keep me secured.